I've been going through rough times lately, most of which are related to academics and, of course, my longing for my family. School's been really tough, and it's becoming even harder for me since the people I need the most aren't here by my side. I miss the old times when I can always go home to my family after a rough day at school. Or that fateful night when I cried to my father because of some miserable news from school. Still, I know they're there, supporting me. My mom's always leaving messages through Facebook. We even chat through Skype! My Dad, since he's here for a vacation, still manages to talk to me through the phone whenever I call home. And yes, my siblings have always been extra supportive of me through different media as well.
Still, there are those times wherein I feel like nobody's with me. Come on, let's face it, I'm living independently. I fend for myself here. I cook my own meals. I pay my own bills. I find a way to get my clothes washed on time, etc. Through such troubled times, I can't always depend on others to pull me up or to help me carry the burden. During those times of despair, when I felt like losing all hope, something grew inside of me--faith.
This may not sound right coming from a person who always laughs at (and even throws) sacrilegious jokes, but, yes, I believe that keeping the faith is enough to get you through. There are days when I feel like giving up. And at night, I am kept awake by my anxiety towards what the morning will bring, besides all the paperwork required. I used to fear the unknown. But now I've learned to just let all things be.
I learned how to pray. I learned how to just let it all come together because I know that He won't let me down. He'll never let me down. I guess, in the end, we're not really the masters of our own fate. We may control our destinies, but all of it is still in God's hands. It's all been written by one hand, as they say. And yes, I'm faithful. I'll forever be faithful.
