Nov 7, 2010

to Platypus

Dear Platypus (a.k.a. Effie Ignacio),

Happy birthday! I still can’t believe it, though, when you said it was your 18th birthday. I honestly thought it was your 36th or something. Oh well, I’m going to let you off the hook this time. It’s YOUR birthday anyway, not mine. You can lie all you want. HAHA. Moving on, I’m obviously dedicating this blog post to you and only you because I didn’t have the chance to hand you the letter I wrote just for you last Saturday. And I’m actually grateful that I didn’t. It was a very crappy letter. So now that my head has finally cleared up of all of those things I’ve been watching this sembreak, I can finally give you a better message. And I’m posting it here for all to see.

I remember how I was back then before I met you. I was a nice girl who minded her own business. Yeah, I was pretty shy as well. I was only outspoken around a few people whom I considered as friends. I even got bullied back then because I was too nice (Yup, it’s really hard to imagine). I was just too contained, and fighting back wasn’t really my thing. My appetite was a lot, lot smaller then, as well. I was like that for a while. Until one fateful day in Grade 3 when you became my seatmate.

It was okay in the beginning, we were just typical seatmates who just talked and checked each other’s works. Then eventually we became friends. And the next thing I knew, we were at the school gym making these weird noises while chasing away our classmates. In addition to that, we were holding our skirts up exposing our shorts to the world. Yeah, it was pretty crazy. I still can’t believe we did that. Still, it’s a sign that you, Platypus, actually played a big part in making me into who I am today. And I am thanking you for that.

Because of you, I finally had the courage to say what’s on my mind. I had the courage to stand up to people. I had the courage to do the things I really wanted to do even though it seemed crazy to other people. And together, we were invincible.

We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had fights and squabbles over the craziest things. We’ve had the weirdest bonding moments like having a large pizza all to ourselves. And now that you’re 18, I can’t be any prouder. You’ve become such a strong person who can go past any obstacle. You’ve become a better you, and I know that you’ll just keep getting better and better as the years pass. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out. And I’m just so glad that you let me be part of your life.

And although we don’t see each other often, I still hope that we remain as we are. There’s always a time for everything. When we’re not so busy, we can hang out and do our thing (like bashing other people) together with Alyzza who’s definitely a PRO when it comes to bashing other people. HAHA.

We’re young, we still have a lot to see. The world is waiting for us. I just wish you good health and happiness for all time. May you be successful in any path you choose. Go on and touch other people’s lives like how you did with mine. Spread the sunshine.

I love you, dear friend (who happens to look like a Platypus). >:D<

Beautifully Yours,


Sep 13, 2010

four-ever :))

You're just like a child.
You always make funny faces.
You say the weirdest things during the weirdest times.
You're appetite is larger than life.
You love eating beef steak.
You hate veggies.
You love staring at your teeth in the mirror.
You love your mom so much.
You're irritable when it's hot.
You fall asleep during long bus rides and wake up disoriented.
You don't like sporty girls.
You have ugly feet.
You have eyelashes that go on forever.
You make me happy.
You are the love of my life.

You mean the world to me.

Four down, forever to go. <3
I love you so much, Ken.
Happy 4th anniversary! <3

Sep 5, 2010

one year

It’s been one year since I first stepped outside the room inside my mind.

So many things have changed.

Happy birthday, Alyzza! :3

Aug 20, 2010


Never, in my life, have I been more sure.
I love you.

Aug 15, 2010


Let go of the things that are pulling you back, but don't force it. Do it slowly.
Just like how slowly you let go of the clutch in order to move forward.
Letting go really takes time.

Aug 8, 2010


I never thought I'd say this, but I guess Justin Bieber's not a loser after all.

I really am desperate for such things.

Aug 7, 2010

a slap in the face

Looking at gorgeous people feels like being slapped.

Some people have it all. Sigh.

Aug 4, 2010

music from the past

Some people may think of me as old-fashioned. I just tell them, "I have good taste." Come on, Justin Bieber isn't exactly what you call an 'artist' and people all over the world worship him like he's one hell of a musician. What has happened to the ears of mankind?

Moving on, lately, I've been listening to 'old' music. Last night, I downloaded songs by Bon Jovi, and I would listen to It's My Life and Living on a Prayer while I shower in the morning. I've also been listening to the Beatles, and this particular song touched my heart. I stumbled upon it while watching a movie this afternoon. And wow, it really touched my heart.

Here it is.

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

In my life, I love you more

Aug 3, 2010

of life and craziness

Ever since my second year in college began, I have experienced so many things, crazy things perhaps, which I have been meaning to share to the literate community of the cosmos. But not until now have I had the courage and the will to actually type something that somehow resembles, or can actually be, a blog post of many paragraphs. So without further blabbering, sit down and read about the life-changing or seemingly ‘crazy’ things I have been through, so far, in my second year as a UPCN student.

It all started with the physical assessment thing. During that time, I thought touching AND feeling the insides of my friend’s mouth was awkward. I mean, come on, that’s just pretty weird for somebody to stick her hand into her friend’s mouth with or without latex gloves. And yeah, when my friend and I did that, we were pretty freaked out. But lo and behold, some weeks after that, news came that we would have to ‘feel’ or, in scientific terms, ‘palpate’ our partner’s boobies, ahem, breasts. In addition to that ‘stunt’ we then would also have to examine our breasts in front of our professors. Oh come on, I don’t have to explain why I find the breast thing ‘crazy’. Fortunately, though, in this world, there exist those brave and courageous people we call ‘volunteers’ and those miracles we call ‘shortage of time’. Because of those things, I was spared. Yes, I was spared from the scarring that could have happened to me and to my friends.

The craziness doesn’t end there, though. On a darker note, it was also the second time for me to actually feel bad because of academics now that I’m in college. Organic Chemistry ruined my life last summer, and I have moved on from all the heartbreak and the misery that came along with it. Now, there’s N10 who’s always breaking my heart. I think I actually flunked the first two tests, and I had to take removals for our first laboratory exam. There was even a time when I had no hope, and I thought I really wanted to shift out of this degree program. Well, I’m still not overly confident, and I still want to shift out of this degree program. However, I’m glad to say I have somehow moved on from these things too because of the words of encouragement I had gathered from friends and loved ones. Failures from the past just make me want to strive more and work harder to not let N10 break my heart over and over again. And it’s a 5 unit course for crying out loud! I really have to work my butt off. Just wait and see, I’ll be a doctor someday! *evil laugh*

Besides the academic frustration I experienced and I’m still ‘slightly’ experiencing to date, there were this ‘weird’ bonding experiences I had with my batch mate. Before, there was just the breast examination which I was able to escape from. Now, we have bed bathing! Anybody with at least half a brain would know what it is, so I guess I don’t have to waste my precious time explaining. Moving on, we were required to ‘practice’ and give bed baths to our partners. Unfortunately, my partner had already volunteered before our demo, so in our demo, I was automatically the patient. So I had to strip down to my ‘unmentionables’, put on a hospital gown, and just wait for the ‘nurse’ to bathe me. Since I was already numb to all the craziness, I did all those things. But to make things worse, my partner and I CHOSE THE WRONG BED. Why? The bed was right beside one of the two functional sinks in the demo room. From time to time, somebody would go to the sink to get some water. The drapes didn’t serve their function too. Some people just don’t know how to respect other people’s privacy. While I was being bathed, somebody would just go right through the drapes and talk to my professor. My partner and I would just laugh it off. I think a piece of my dignity went down the drain that day. It was lost among the bubbles created by my partner’s mitt rubbing my skin. Haha.

AND ON THE SAME DAY, we were tasked to brush and floss our partner’s teeth. We had no choice but to do it. It was pretty embarrassing though, especially when I ‘accidentally’ spitted on my partner’s hand. (I’m so sorry, Ella. :c )The flossing part wasn’t any easier. I already have difficulties flossing my own teeth, as if I still do, and it was so much harder to do on somebody else’s teeth. You just don’t know whether you’re already hurting your partner or not. It’s also really hard to reach the molars. Thank the heavens I survived that day.

These things weren’t as FUN the moment they were taking place. It takes some time to get over it and to look back. Then you’d realize and say, “Well, that was crazy, but FUN.” That’s how some good memories are made.

Definitely, I’m having a hard time right now not only because of, ahem, matters of the heart, but mainly because of school. I expected this type of things the moment I learned that I passed the UPCAT and got in the deadly ‘triple’ quota. I’m feeling really harassed at the moment, but someday, I’m sure, I’m going to look back and say “Thank You” to my sadistic but Excellent (capital E) school. For now, I’ll just take things one at a time and cherish every waking minute of my life. There’s more to come. There’ll be more hardships and challenges—and craziness—in the future. So what? As long as I still believe in myself and the power that I have inside of me, I WILL make it. I have my life in my hands.

Sabi nga ni Ely Buendia, “Ikaw ang diyos at hari ng iyong mundo.Matakot sila sa’yo.”

I don’t want my life to be ‘perfect’. I want it to be worth it. In the end, I just want to look back and say, “What a great ride!”

Until next time :)

Aug 1, 2010


I guess I spoke too soon.
Something IS wrong.

And I'm tired of trying.
That's bad news for YOU.

it's clear now

Nothing was wrong.
I was just missing you badly.

I'm really looking forward to those days when I can wake up each morning and find you there.

Jul 28, 2010

a sign

I have one song in my mind at the moment.

If a guy plays it for me with a guitar and matching vocals (doesn't have to be good), I WILL CERTAINLY MARRY THAT GUY.

Okay, so I am slightly insane because of the rain and these freakin' nursing stuff. But I am 'slightly' serious about this. HAHA. Sorry, I'm just having fantasies.

Jul 27, 2010


Jul 25, 2010

a slump

Since last week, I’ve been in a slump. No, wait, not only last week, but the week before that and the week before that…oh hell, life has really been difficult. I’ve been screwing up a lot of my major exams, and I haven’t been doing well at other things. I’ve been finding myself being easily annoyed by other people, and I frequently cry because of frustration. It’s like I’m a having a long period of PMS. I wish it’s just PMS, but it’s not. I’m in a terrible slump, and I badly need motivation. And that’s not my only problem.

I have personal problems and please don’t let me get started on it.

I’ve been tempted a lot of times already to do one evil thing that can hurt somebody else. But if it’s the only way I can be happy, so be it. Until now, I haven’t done that thing because, of course, it’s wrong, and either way there’s no certainty. I’m caught between a dream and a habit—if you know what I mean. Should I chase my long-time dream? Or stick to the habit that’s barely making me happy now. There’s too much at risk. I don’t think my ‘dream’ would want me still, nor do I believe anymore that my ‘habit’ is going to ‘change’ for me.

Please, give me a sign.

Jun 18, 2010

Jun 10, 2010

just three words

Backstage at the regionals right before their performance...

This scene made me cry. ;____;

I never really liked cheesy lines from sappy chick flicks. As you can see, my favorite movie line so far is 'Tonight we dine in hell' from 300. For me, just three words with the right amount of sincerity is enough.

I love you. :)

Jun 9, 2010

amor vincit omnia

Love conquers all.
It really does.
Believe me.

May 16, 2010

this week

Before the week ends and another starts, I want to share some of the highlights of the week. I was not able to post anything about them because the week was just too toxic. Organic chemistry was squeezing the life out of me. I feel like I'm 50 years older because of it. So does that make me 68 years old? Anyway, because I'm in the middle of solving some math problems for our group work, I'm gonna have to make this post snappy. You get it? Snappy? Oh darn it. Let the 'pictures' do the talking.

Organic chemistry DID squeeze the life out of me--including my sense of humor. So before it squeezes anything else from me, let's get this over with.

The day I felt so legal

Because I turned 18 last month, (exactly a month before May 10) I was able to take part in the historic automated election! Yeah, baby. Who's legal now, huh? It was fun. I had fun shading the 'bilog na hugis itlog'. But they weren't really egg-shaped. They looked more like ovals to me. :| And eggs are NOT oval. Yes, I'm talking about chicken eggs.

My oh-so-motivational-ultra-mini wall of motivation

Because Organic Chemistry was killing me and my hopes, I had to motivate myself. And since I had a lot of post-it's, I created this oh-so-motivational-ultra-mini wall of motivation. So now I turned my printer into a printer WITH an oh-so-motivational-ultra-mini wall of motivation. What do the post-it's say? Zoom in, people. Zoom in.

Cramming for Organic Chemistry

Nobody said it was going to be easy, but nobody said it was going to be hellishly hard. For the first time in my life, I felt so hopeless when faced with a subject. Sure, I had difficult subjects before, but they're nothing compared to Organic Chem. It's so hard, it puts diamonds to shame.


We finally got our name plates! It just feels so good to have one with my name on it. Oh yeah, this is just the motivation I need.

So there you go. If a picture paints a thousand words, this blog post speaks at least 4,000 words (including the ones I typed). So, bye for now. Anemia is attacking me again. :|

May 11, 2010

for bitter people

If you guys love GIBO so much, why don't you just marry him?

Seriously, there's nothing else you can do. Give whoever won a chance. I am not a fan of Binay, but I'm not ranting or showing any bitterness against him. Please, if you really are smart, act like you are. Or at least, pretend to be. Thank you.

chewy tuesday

It looks like I’m running out of endless love… :(

No, literally.

Today, contrary to what I expected this day to be, turned out to be pretty…happy AND surprising. At school, we were all very hyper came our Organic Chemistry makeup class. And no, we were not rejoicing because we were enjoying the subject itself. We were quite active because we couldn’t understand much. Or was it just me? LOL. All I can say is that our makeup class for Organic Chemistry this afternoon turned out to be fun. Our instructor’s so great. I just hope I can make my test scores higher just to prove to her that she really is doing a good job. That is, if I can ever get a higher score in Organic Chem.


I was in the kitchen when I heard my phone ringing. It was Ken! Of course, I was shocked. We haven’t talked since Sunday because of some circumstances! Quickly, I answered the phone. He told me that he was on his way to Astral. I asked him why, and he just told me that he had nothing else to do so he wanted to drop by. So I said, “Okay.” He wanted me to meet him at KFC. So I did. I went down there feeling nervous because his voice sounded grave. Trembling, I made my way down.

When I got to KFC, he wasn’t there yet. So I took one of the tables near the window so I could see him once he arrives. So there, after a few minutes, I saw him coming. I stared at him, but he was avoiding my gaze. Then, I grew really nervous. When he got in:

Me: O, bakit ka nandito?

Ken: Nakakainis ka kasi e.


Ken: Hindi ka mawala sa isip ko.

And then we talked about all the misery we had to go through without each other.

We ate dinner after.

So there, we realized we couldn’t live without each other. And that was the end of our cool off. LOL.

To all my friends: Tatum, Effie, Gizelle, Erin, Lou, Alyzza, Riel and all the other people who helped me get through, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you all. :-*