Jul 29, 2012

the V issue

Twice, yesterday, I was compelled to talk about this issue--the virginity issue. First of all, I want to make it clear to all of you that yes, I still am, and I plan to stay this way until I walk down the aisle with the love of my life. 

First of all, I'm disappointed. Just because we've been together for so long doesn't mean we've been doing it. I think it was a misconception by one of my friends who thought it would be normal for my boyfriend and I to actually do it considering that we've been together for almost 6 years now. But it's still a big no-no for me and for him. Why? Well, we just don't think we need to. We're having a great time without having to break the rules. We enjoy each other's company without being sexual, and yes, we're completely happy even after 6 years of being abstinent together. I just don't see the point of having to take such a big risk. Besides, my boyfriend's religiosity goes through the roof. Staying pure until marriage is that important to him, and I'm glad that it is. 

What really prompted me to write this is that I heard that somewhere out there, there are actually people who are misjudging us. Worse, they bring this misjudgment to other people. I may not be directly affected, but yes, I'm the other half of the couple. So what you say about my boyfriend affects me, unless you've actually seen him with another woman. And NEWS FLASH, my boyfriend does not kiss and tell. I've met you once or twice, and I thought you were OK. It turns out, you're not. So pray to the highest heavens that you never EVER cross paths with me again, or something very, very bad will happen to you. Now, scram. 

Jul 14, 2012


Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. I learned this the hard way.

Do you remember my previous post? Well, if you don't, you can just scroll down and it will stare you straight in the eye. In that post, I was asking for "the push" to motivate me to work harder. Guess what, I got it. I got pushed. I almost got pushed right off the edge of wherever I am now, and it was nasty. I still don't know where I am, whether I've fallen off the clip or I've managed to survive and hang on. I don't want to divulge names and details because I don't want to get in any more trouble. Let's just say that I had a hard time last week because somebody "pushed" me. Yes, she "pushed" me into working harder and into not sleeping at all just to do what she wanted me to do. Because if I didn't, I'm pretty sure I'd have go through all that stuff again. Cryptic, I know. But I want to be safe. And right now, I just want to vent out all these emotions. I've kind of gotten over it already, actually, but it's still bothering me. I still don't know where I stand, and it's driving me crazy! Well, not exactly, but, you get the point. I know I shouldn't be worrying about it now because it's all over. Worrying about it will just make me feel worse. It wouldn't actually improve the situation.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but all I can do now is pray.

Jul 7, 2012

The Push

I've just finished season 1 of Awkward, a TV series by MTV, plus two more episodes from season 2. Jenna, the protagonist, blogs every night and types her heart out. That's why I'm here. Jenna inspired me.

I'm in some kind of a slump right now. I think it's too early to be burnt out, but considering that we had a sem's worth of lecture squeezed into three days and had our final exam on the 4th, makes me think it's really not too early for a burnout. But I guess it's not just that. I've been through two clinical areas already which means there's only four more left. I'm not yet THAT tired, but right now I'm really lacking motivation.

It's lonely, really. I'm in some sort of a rollercoaster ride. One minute I'm happy, another, I'm not. Last night was probably one of the highlights of my week, and no, I'm not going to say anything about what happened. My lips are sealed.

What I need right now is a "push". I'm not really stressed out or something. No, scratch that, I AM stressed, but that's not the reason why I'm feeling like this. It's just that, I've gotten so fed up with the stress that I'm already slacking off now. I've grown immune to the feeling that not a single cell in my body is panicking. I'm slacking off. Big time. I just want to feel energized. I want to be full of vitality. I need that one large "push" that will send me reading all the books that I have to and into preparing for the reports that are due next week. Come on.

Push me.