Meet Rosalie

Once again, Sims 3 got me hooked until one night one of my sims turned jet-black and it scared the hell out of me. In the past, I posted one of my sims' stories here in my blog. I wanted to post something about Marcus Frio, my legendary rockstar sim who had 16 children (most of them were illegitimate, of course). But I was so hooked that I didn't even have the willpower to get off the game and actually write something about him. Now I just want you to meet my prettiest sim ever, Rosalie. 

She's a 'legitimate' granddaughter of the legendary Marcus Frio. I'm proud of her because she turned out beautifully. I didn't create her, ok? It's a rare occurrence to have a gorgeous sim child from pre-existing sims not to mention that this one belongs to a generation of sims already. 

 She's quite popular.

And she's a doctor.

I'll post something about the Frio legacy sometime in the future.

p.s. I didn't give her that stupid name. She was an illegitimate child and her mother named her without my consent.

The Brain and Pork Brine

I've seen it. I read it. I even 'liked' it. I know you're not obliging me to give you any form of response, but I want to. After days of thinking of a clever response to what you said, I managed to end up with this. Just a simple blog post--straightforward and truthful like the person who wrote it. 

I thought I knew the melody that I heard you singing

And when you smiled you made me feel like I could sing along

First day. I was on my way to our car to meet my Dad who had been waiting for me when I passed by your school bus. You greeted me. I greeted you back. Your identity then was not as distinct to me as it is now. From a pool of new faces and people I had met that day, I didn't really have the mental capability to remember your name. But I remembered you, and what you did. That was probably our first interaction. The second one was when I sent pieces of rice flying toward your direction and having them stick to your pants. Long story.

Time passed by and suddenly I found myself beside you, and you beside me. Time passed by again, and *poof* you meant so much more to me than just a...native carabao. Now that I try to recall some of the 'good' days, I can say that I really had a great time with you as my friend. We never ran out of stuff to talk about, and we would laugh about things other people wouldn't even get. 'Just because we're smarter than you doesn't mean we're boastful' was our favorite catchphrase. I still remember the day when you brought a copy of your favorite song to school and asked me to be your back-up singer. 

I didn't want to tell you. I knew that if I did, everything would change. I was aware that you had your eyes (and your heart) set on other girls and I was not one of them. I wanted to just let it pass since the school year was almost ending. I could just forget you when school ends, and start anew when it begins again. I knew you. You were nice to people. You were nice to everybody. And when you were nice to me, I didn't want to think of it as something else because it would just be painful. As I said before, I knew that at the end of the day, I was just another friend, a seatmate. 

Until one day, somebody invaded my privacy and read my diary while I was busy campaigning for a position I eventually won.

I thought you knew. I really thought you knew. The devil who read my diary was quoting 'lines' from the same page wherein I said something about how I felt for you, and yes, I really thought you knew. He was blurting out those lines in front of us, and so I thought that you were just being nice by not reacting to it whatsoever. It was agonizing. I managed to just live through the final days of school believing you knew my secret and that you didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to ask you. I was a coward. I was weak. I couldn't handle rejection.

In one way, I felt rejected all the same. You continued talking to me about your main squeeze day by day. I just nodded to whatever you said, and I really tried to be a good friend to you. So it went on. I wanted to forget about the incident and just deal with seeing you every weekday as if nothing happened--as if you didn't know about my secret. 

Then, we went our separate ways. 

We never talked in person as often. There were instances when we were in the same room, but we didn't talk. I really wanted to patch things up. I wanted to rebuild the friendship. I guess it's just too late for that now. There were instances as well when we talked face-to-face. There was one time when I shamelessly sat beside you in the bus, and during another time in February. You were my what-if. Now, yes, it's been a almost a year since we last talked online. We remained friends in cyberspace until last year. I felt it. I knew you were avoiding me. I knew you weren't talking to me, and I let you. As always, I didn't want to force myself into your world. You walked out on me, and I didn't run after you. I guess, you didn't want me to. That was your way of telling me that I should not get involved with your business and you with mine. 

Now I know what's behind it. Now I know how you really felt, and what all of it was about. I loved reading it, but in the end I got somehow offended. No, wait. I shouldn't be offended that you somehow implied that I made things harder for you. I'm me. I'm not for the weak of heart. I rock people's worlds. (So egotistic, haha) But now that it's all out there, I guess this marks the end of it all. Wherever this may lead, I don't know. Thank you for everything. Good luck with life. May you find the happiness you deserve. Someday, our paths may cross again--and I will definitely kill you with a chainsaw.   

Maselang bahaghari sa aking isipan

Huwag kang mabahala, 'di kita malilimutan

p.s. I said 'yes', but you left me first.

I Don't Want To

I don't feel so good today. I feel lazy, tired, and overloaded. I have so many unfinished businesses and there's so much I have yet to decide on. Worse, my future doesn't look so good (my parents are leaving, class starts on the 14th). All these things make me feel burdened, heavy, and weak. I don't feel like doing anything today but relax. I have a lot of books here that I want to read which I might start doing later. I just want to lock myself up here in my room and rest with a book. I don't want to think. I don't want to follow orders. I don't want to be me for just one day. All I want is some mindless idleness or to just do things that I enjoy without all the pressure. 

I don't want to think of the future just now.
I don't want to worry about school.
I don't want to worry about my grades and my scholarship.
I don't want to leave my room.
I don't want to leave this bed.
I don't want to explain myself.
I don't want to answer other people's questions.
I don't want to deal with my problems.

Maybe, just for today, I don't want to be me.

Books

My Mom and I went to the mall this afternoon. She had to go to the bank and do some stuff there. Luckily, right in front of the bank was a large book clearance sale. (Yay!) So automatically she asked me if I wanted to stay there and rummage for books while she went inside the bank and did her thing. I was screaming inside since my original goal was to buy just one book (for financial reasons) from Powerbooks or whatever. And when I saw THAT, I was ecstatic. 

I carefully went through the neatly stacked books and scanned for nice titles like 'Kill Me, I'm a Dolphin' or whatsoever. There were lots of books to choose from, and they came at such low, low prices. There were books worth 20 pesos! They were those teenybopper novels though. So I went around the place looking for a potential good read. I I planned to get a handful of books and then choose from those in the end. However, it didn't turn out like that. I ended up buying every book I got interested in. (Oh well) 

I was shocked when I found a hardbound copy of Maximum Ride so I snatched it immediately from the stand. All of the books I bought, except for Maximum Ride, were all brand new. It was still in good condition, and it really was a bargain. It was worth 80 pesos only! After that, I walked around some more to find some more books. One of the salespersons was already bugging me and offering her assistance in carrying my books. I happily declined. I considered that as an insult to my machismo. But in the end, she wound up carrying my books because I had to kneel down and look at the books down below. I spotted some books by Stephen King but knowing how boring some of his books turned out to be, I skipped out on those. I've become more jumpy and anxious ever since I started reading his books so I try to stay away from them. Right now, I'm in the process of finishing Stephen King's It. Hell, it's as boring as your grandmother's boobs. Moving on, I ended up buying five books. (see picture)

My reason for buying Maximum Ride was because I found it really cheap. It's a good book, it's a hardbound copy, and it costs so less. Who wouldn't buy it? I bought In the Hand of Dante simply because I was intrigued by its plot. It's somehow related to Dante's Inferno, and just last year, I bought Dante's Inferno from another book sale. As you can see, Happiness Sold Separately is quite different from the books I usually read. That's exactly why I bought it. I'd like to explore that genre more. And yes, reading the first page got me hooked so I placed it in the growing stack of books I was hugging. Next, I bought The F*ck Up because I found the plot hilarious--very, very hilarious. It's about a guy whose life gets, you guessed it, so F-ed up. He even ended up having to pretend to be gay just to have a job--being a porn star for a gay porn film. (HAHAHA) And of course, I bought Coraline simply because IT IS CORALINE. 

There you go, the five books I bought today. Believe me, they cost me less than 500 pesos. No, not 499--420 to be exact. 

Shopping for books always beats shopping for overpriced clothes that all look the same anyway.

I need to go now. I need to finish reading Coraline. 

Seriously. 

Summer Goals

• watch all the movies I downloaded while cramming last semester
• practice playing the violin
• practice playing the piano
• practice playing the guitar
• bring body clock back to normalcy
• hang out with high school friends
• eat Bon Chon chicken
• finish reading borrowed books
• open a bank account in BPI
• save money for a new camera 
• revive blog

Summer (Part 1)

How has my summer been?

Unlike most of you who have probably been to a beach or two, I was busy studying. Yes, I had summer classes. I live in a world where summer doesn't equate to mindless fun nor does it equate being overly bored because of nothing to do. Mine was filled with speeches, poems, and lots of black paint. Now that it's over, I have a lot free time. *cheers* It was not an ideal summer. A summer spent beach-hopping or somewhere in Siberia, it definitely wasn't like that. I had fun, though. No, I'm not being sarcastic. To show you I'm really not being the sarcastic monster that I usually am, let me tell you how awesome my summer has been. 

Banahaw Trip

For our PI 100 which is a subject about Rizal, we went to Mt. Banahaw to learn more about those people who worship Dr. Jose Rizal. I was hesitant at first. I didn't really want to join because I'm not really into mountains and stuff. I also didn't want to pay 960 pesos for a hiking trip. I wanted to just go home and rest instead of joining the trip. But since I'm used to doing things I don't really want to, and because my friends told me it would be a great 'experience', I joined. 

We left Manila early in the morning aboard a bus with chandeliers inside. Weird, but true. There were chandeliers inside the bus! It felt really luxurious added to the fact that there were very few of us inside it. A lot of people from my class didn't join so there was this sea of empty seats between the back and the front of the bus. Moving on, the trip was quite long but we weren't bored. There were lots of food and the movie was good. Our professor brought a copy of A Walk to Remember to keep us entertained. When it was over, one of the two professors aboard the bus started to give a lecture about our destination and that was when slumber time commenced. I felt sorry for the professor talking in front. MY CLASSMATES WERE SLEEPING! There were only two or three of us who fought the urge to sleep. I really felt sorry for him so I really tried to 'pretend' being interested. It didn't last long. The professor noticed that the people in the back were all in dreamland already so he stopped and just sat down. He continued his lecture when we were 15 minutes away from the destination. People were awake then, and they had the enthusiasm of cadavers.

Shortly, the bus stopped and there we were at Mt. Banahaw. I'm not going to narrate everything from this point on. Let's just say that when we got off the bus, we first went to this religious group's headquarters. We stayed there for a while to hear about their religion then we left. We ate lunch somewhere. It was part of the 960 we paid for the trip. We were asked to behave, but I couldn't help demanding for a bigger piece of chicken.  

After eating, we had a few minutes to prepare for the highlight of the day---the hiking trip.

So there, we formed a straight line and went into the forest. The silence was deafening. It was like I had earplugs on. I couldn't even hear the rustling of the leaves. All I could hear were my breaths which became faster and faster as we went higher. For the first part of the hike we were on level ground and as it progressed, we found ourselves stepping on mossy rocks. We went higher and higher into the mountain. It was my first time to do that, and I was scared. One wrong step and I'd have fallen off the mountain. Luckily, I lived! I was very pale by the time we reached the resting station. I guess I really have to exercise some more to get used to physical activity. Moving on, we reached what looked like a shed. We sat down for a while as our group collected under it. The mountain guide oriented us about what would happen next. 

He told us about what people call the Husgado Cave. They said that it's a way to have yourself judged. If you're a sinner, you'll get out of the cave wounded or you won't get out of it at all. The guide didn't force us to enter the cave, but for the sake of experiencing it and to prove ourselves, all but one of us entered.

Before entering the cave, we were asked to stop by the nearby altar to pray for guidance. I was trembling either because I was scared or because I was tired already. After praying, we went to the mouth of the cave.

We were all asked to remove our shoes. It was hard. My feet were both in pain. I was stepping on all sorts of things like rocks, bugs, and other people's feet. I was fourth in line. And after the first two had gotten inside, I went in. 

The entrance to the cave was like a hole on the ground. There was a guide waiting for me there. It was pretty steep so whoever entered the cave had to step on the poor guide's shoulders and sit on him so we don't plunge to the unknown. I sat on the edge of the opening and eased myself downwards into the shoulders of the guide. While I was doing that, I accidentally toppled on the candles on the altar. (Oops) I could have angered the cave gods! HAHA. Moving on, I successfully sat on the guide's shoulders and then he put me down on the floor of the cave. The next obstacle was this small path. Well everything there was like that. It was either you'd get down on all fours and crawl or lie down and crawl like that. (Sorry for the vagueness) But believe me, the cave was very narrow in all aspects. It was dark inside, too. Through it, I just copied what the person in front of me did to get through the obstacles. That was the general rule. People should help each other. The person in front of me gave me instructions which I would pass on to the person behind me. Inside that cave, I found out that I can be a contortionist if I badly needed to be one. 

After going through a series of obstacles, I finally found the exit! Unfortunately, the person in front of me was gone already and she didn't tell me how to go through that final obstacle. So there, I worked it out by myself. I leaned my back on the cave and stepped on the adjacent rock to raise myself. 

Rejoice! I made it through! I had a small gash on my left knee, though. (I'M A SINNER!) The three people ahead of me were there and they applauded. They were like a welcoming committee. Haha. I sat down, drank water, and rested. We took pictures while waiting for the others. We posed at the exit of the cave to look like we just got out of it. 

Soon, people started appearing one by one. The crowd was getting larger and larger until we were all complete. Then we proceeded to the next part of the hike.

After a long walk, we reached the river! Feeling oh-so sticky with sweat, we all jumped in the cool waters. We were having so much fun there. We were like kids in a kiddie pool. I can't count how many times I slipped on the rocks. Good thing only a few people saw me. Mortifying, still. 

After some fun in the water, we went up 270 something huge steps to get to the path that would take us out of the mountain. It was even more tiring than the hike that took us to that place! When we reached the top, we rested for the nth time.

We made our way back to the bus and changed our clothes. It was hard changing all of your clothing while inside the bus. I know we were all girls then (we forced the boys to change clothes somewhere else) but I was still not comfortable about it. I had this towel to cover me as I changed out of my wet clothes and into dry ones. 

Later on, we were all done and we reunited with the male population who, I later found out, got dressed outdoors (in the grassy areas). HAHA. We visited another religious group. We were asked to sit down as the leader told us stories. I wasn't listening. I was viewing the pictures in my digital camera. Oh yeah, I'm so awesome. HAHA.

After that, we went back to the bus and rode home. The bus ride was crazy. Don't get me started. 

That was the closest thing I had to 'summer fun'. I may not have gone to the beach or to Baguio, but I joined that trip. It was really fun. I had a lot of 'firsts' and it was definitely a bonding experience with some of my batch mates. It also taught me to always have faith.  You see, I really wasn't being sarcastic or anything. Summer was fun especially when you add those Comm III moments that I'd probably be sharing with you  in another blog post. It wasn't the ideal summer that we all have in mind. Screw that 'ideal' summer. What I had is so much better. I'm not bitter or anything. I'm just saying that even the worst things can become the best if you look at it at a different perspective--or when you have awesome friends to make everything much, much better. 

p.s. Look for the pictures in my Facebook account. I'm having a hard time uploading them here. My internet connection is failing me. :| 

Yellow

Regrets.

I don't really have a lot of regrets, but there is one thing that would have changed my life...big time.

I want to go back in time.

I should have gone yellow.