IT just happened to me

According to a lot of my UP Manila seniors, IT is normal. IT happens to everybody in our campus, and IT will happen to me. I hate to admit it, but they’re right. In fact, IT happened to me just this afternoon.

I was on my way to school using my usual route. Normally, I just walk along Taft Avenue from Padre Faura to Pedro Gil. I’ve gotten so used to this route that I have almost memorized most of the stalls along Taft. Moving on, when I was a few meters away from the gate, IT happened.

It all happened so fast. I was just walking toward school and minding my own business. The next thing I knew, a guy was in front of me and he placed his grubby hand on my necklace as if trying to snatch it! I gave out a loud and ‘awkward’ scream (I had tonsillitis). Then he suddenly walked off like nothing happened. I was just…dazed. I didn’t have the will to run after him or anything. I was trembling. I just checked to see if my necklace was still there. And yes, it was. It was broken though because of that stupid snatcher’s pull. I quickly looked for the pendant, but it wasn’t hanging from the chain anymore.

A stranger approached me and asked me what the snatcher managed to take from me. I told him I lost my pendant. And then he muttered something as if to make me feel better, but I was too dazed to comprehend anything. I just ignored him, and quickly walked inside the safe confines of my school.

I tried to find my block mates. I found them in our tambayan, exchanging knock knock jokes. With my poor necklace in hand, I approached them. But I didn’t feel like telling them what just happened. I wanted my crew (Erin, Erine, and Audrei) to be the first ones to know. So after listening to one of Danj’s knock knock jokes, I left our tambayan. I went inside our college. I first went inside the restroom. And sorry for sharing this, but I looked inside my shirt to see if the pendant managed to fall inside of my you-know-what. And it was there!! Hooray! Long live the person who invented special undergarments for females!

I was somehow relieved, but still shocked.

I went upstairs. There I found Erine and Audrei. Finally, I had the power to tell my shocking story.

Shortly after that, I called Ken and informed him. After telling him everything, I greeted him, “Happy Monthsary!!” He greeted me back. And then we both realized how ironic it was.

Looking at the bright side, at least I didn’t really lose my necklace AND I didn’t get hurt. I never thought it would happen to me, though. I had so much faith in my vigilance. But this day was an exception, I guess. I had fever and was suffering from another drug overdose (Thank you, Erythromycin). If I were fit enough then, I could have kicked that guy where it would hurt him the most.

indifference

I feel…indifferent

About a year ago, I posted something in my blog in Multiply. It was no ordinary post for it was rather expressive of my wants to leave high school and ditch a lot of people. I even made a pact to never come back, and except for that one time when I really HAD to go, I never broke that rule. I stayed away from that place as much as I could. I thought I had posted something like that because I was…tired of everything.

But now that almost a year has gone past me, I still feel the same. Wait, no. I no longer feel that way, because I feel indifferent. Yes, very indifferent. Back then, I was itching to leave because I was truly annoyed. Now, I am just glad to be out of that place. My assumptions were right, I AM happier now.

College has changed me a lot. From the way I dress to the way I speak. From how I write to how I highlight texts while reviewing. Almost everything has changed.

So why am I blogging about this now?

Because just last week came the realization, I am not missing anything. This may sound so cold, but I’m just being honest. No, I have not forgotten about the past. I still hold memories dear, and I still cherish all the friendships made back then. It’s just that I don’t feel the same anymore. Maybe it’s just because of the toxicity of school or something else. I really don’t know. I think it’s just how it should be. I have grown, and I have flown somewhere else.

joyce and the urban dictionary

I was surfing the net one morning when I remembered one of my classmates telling me about the urban dictionary online. So I went to the site and typed in my name. The results were pretty funny and shocking. Click here to see the results.

We're OK :)

Finally, we're together again! After our short cool off which lasted for approximately 2 days, we found out how hard it is to live without each other.

I just want to thank all my friends who helped me during my 'emo' days. Thank you for the hugs, the words of advice, the company, the jokes, and for the threats Ken received (Haha).

Ken and I learned a lot from this experience. I, for one, realized how strong the power of friendship is, and I'm really glad because I have some of the best people around as my friends. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you, guys. All of you deserve a big hug. >:D<

a favor

Friends, I need your help. :( My happiness is in danger...
Please pray for us. I really don't want to let him go. :(

This is my last chance to make you mine. :(

save me

I just got home, and I’m not happy. I’ve been carrying this within me since my previous post, and I really don’t want to tell anybody about it.

Right now, I’m just feeling so insufficient, so ugly, and so…colored. Oh how I envy the clouds, the cotton balls, the retina of my eyes, the polar bears and her.

I know I have so much more, but why can’t you just see past my one single flaw and make me feel that I’m enough for you—that I’m good enough for you. Oh, wait. That’s because I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never be good enough for you. And it’s just sad…because in my eyes, you are perfect.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll find someone who would appreciate me and love me because I am me. Somebody who wouldn’t, in any sense, urge me to change.

I know you’re not forcing me to, but I feel the need to. It’s the only way to keep you.

Someday, someone will bust in the door and take me away (whether you’re still there or not). Whoever that someone is, let him come now.

I just want to feel beautiful…and loved.