chewy tuesday

It looks like I’m running out of endless love… :(

No, literally.

Today, contrary to what I expected this day to be, turned out to be pretty…happy AND surprising. At school, we were all very hyper came our Organic Chemistry makeup class. And no, we were not rejoicing because we were enjoying the subject itself. We were quite active because we couldn’t understand much. Or was it just me? LOL. All I can say is that our makeup class for Organic Chemistry this afternoon turned out to be fun. Our instructor’s so great. I just hope I can make my test scores higher just to prove to her that she really is doing a good job. That is, if I can ever get a higher score in Organic Chem.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:

I was in the kitchen when I heard my phone ringing. It was Ken! Of course, I was shocked. We haven’t talked since Sunday because of some circumstances! Quickly, I answered the phone. He told me that he was on his way to Astral. I asked him why, and he just told me that he had nothing else to do so he wanted to drop by. So I said, “Okay.” He wanted me to meet him at KFC. So I did. I went down there feeling nervous because his voice sounded grave. Trembling, I made my way down.

When I got to KFC, he wasn’t there yet. So I took one of the tables near the window so I could see him once he arrives. So there, after a few minutes, I saw him coming. I stared at him, but he was avoiding my gaze. Then, I grew really nervous. When he got in:

Me: O, bakit ka nandito?

Ken: Nakakainis ka kasi e.

Me:…

Ken: Hindi ka mawala sa isip ko.

And then we talked about all the misery we had to go through without each other.

We ate dinner after.

So there, we realized we couldn’t live without each other. And that was the end of our cool off. LOL.

To all my friends: Tatum, Effie, Gizelle, Erin, Lou, Alyzza, Riel and all the other people who helped me get through, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you all. :-*

a lament

Nothing lasts forever…now I know.

I do not, or rather, cannot share what is happening to me at the moment. All I can say is that, this probably is one of the saddest times of my life. I have done everything to distract myself. Actually, I think I have an account in every popular site such as Tumblr now. But hold your horses, don’t ‘google’ me because I hid myself behind a codename that I am sure none of you has ever heard of.

I am really, really sad that not even Plants vs. Zombies can cheer me up. Even now, I am crying. And there is nothing I or you can do to stop the tears from falling.

I still cannot understand why, and he cannot either.

I can move on.

I must move on.

It may not be too late yet, but I do not want to expect too much.

Comments will be highly appreciated.

(at least I will know that I am still loved)

The Last Song

Usually when I get addicted to a certain song, I keep on listening to it over and over again until I find another good song. Right now I’m addicted to The Last Song by the All-American Rejects. I know it’s a breakup song, but who says breakup songs are only for those going through breakups? I really love this song. I like how direct and frank the lyrics are. I AM JUST SO IN LOVE WITH IT. I listen to it before going to bed, while taking a bath, in between study sessions, HELL YEAH, I AM ADDICTED TO IT.

This may be the last thing that I write for long
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song?
For you and only you

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye?
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye?
My foot is out the door and you can't stop me now

You wanted the best
It wasn't me
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead
When there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again
You'll pretend you're naive
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up? Let me know

As I go remember all the simple things you know
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal
And now I sing it
Somehow I knew that it would be this way
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade
Now I am gone
Just try and stop me now

You wanted the best
It wasn't me
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead
When there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again
You'll pretend you're naive
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up? Let me know

As I go remember all the simple things you know
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

Will you need me now
You'll find a way somehow
You wanted to
I want it too

As I go remember all the simple things you know
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

I posted this for the sake of keeping my blog alive. Or is it because of something else? I don’t know. I really feel this song. It’s not like I want to do what the song suggests the singer did. I just think that it’s the best breakup song EVER. Well at least for me it is. Maybe I might post this kind of stuff every Thursday. I don’t know. It depends. I don’t think readers care about the songs inside my head at a given time. Or do they? Arrrgh. Too many questions. Let’s just let it end this way. Shall we?

Louie, I miss you

This morning, right after my driving lesson with Daddy, I went back to my room to rest. It was way too early for me. We started driving at around 6:30 a.m., and I had to drag my body out of my bed to make it possible. I know I shouldn’t have watched last night’s Harapan since I had long ago decided to just vote for all the aspiring senators in the Liberal party. Oh well, so much for regrets. Moving on, after driving half-asleep all around the village, I was STILL half-asleep. It’s like I was ‘bangag’ the whole time, and I still can’t believe how I managed to drive well with half of my being still in dreamland. I thank God I didn’t get myself into trouble while driving under a trance. And yeah, I still managed to get a lot of praises from my Daddy. I think he didn’t notice that my eyes were only half-opened then.

And now to get to the whole point of why I’m blogging right now, look at the pictures below:

Yes, that’s my Louie. I mean, OUR Louie. Ken gave that bear to me on our first Christmas together. We named him Louie because it was the name written on the bear’s birth certificate. We couldn’t argue with a piece of paper. Nobody can. EVER. You read that?

Louie sounded like an acceptable name to us, so we didn’t bother wasting our brain cells thinking of a clever name for a half-naked bear that was to be our pseudo-bear-son. We might have changed it if the birth certificate said Bruno, Godzilla, or Barabas.

I really miss that bear. I can’t bring him to Manila because he’s too big for my bed. So I just took pictures. FYI, the third one's our first decent picture together. It’s the first time I ever managed to squeeze the two of us in a self-picture. It may be because my arm is longer now, or just because of my new wide-screen camera. Or did Louie get thinner?

So you might be asking, “Why the hell did you write such a long and boring paragraph about you driving half-asleep when all you wanted to do was to show us those pictures?!” My answer is salami.

p.s. I took the picture while I was resting and meditating inside my room.

at laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast

Yes, after so many months, I’ve decided to actually ‘revive’ my blog. One step I took is to change the layout because the previous one looked so emo and serious. It may make the readers think I’m an emotional and serious person which is definitely not true. My new layout kind of symbolizes me because…I don’t know. You guys tell me. I just picked this one because it reminds me of candy. Eating candies is one of my favorite things to do next to bullying.

You see, I’ve decided to revive this blog so as to keep my head from exploding. There’s just so much I want to tell you, guys, and they’re all inside my head. I just didn’t have, or still don’t, have the time and the will to do so. Right now I’m having summer classes, and it’s been the GC-est time of my college life so far because I suck at chemistry. I really have to push harder to make the grade. Yes, it means I do study every night.

Moving on, I revive this blog with one new simple rule for you guys to follow if you do want to live longer—or if you want to continue living with a complete set of vital organs.

Whatever you read from here stays here. You are not allowed to talk to me about whatever I will write in here personally, in facebook, or wherever UNLESS I was the one who started talking about it. Comment boxes have a purpose. Tell me what you want to tell me using those boxes.

That sounds awfully simple, right? My rule applies to just the contents of my blog (the posts, etc.) and not to the whole blog in general. You can face me personally and tell me, “Wow, your blog reminds me of the days when I still had my pancreas.” or something like that. However, you cannot walk up to me personally and say, “Your blog post last night was so dramatic that I almost had my rectum removed to share your pain.” Do you get it, guys?

Sorry for that rule, but I really feel awkward whenever people talk to me personally about my blog posts. What I post in cyberspace stays in cyberspace. It does not jump out of your computer screen and into your tongue for it to travel to my ears the next day.

So with that, I’m leaving. See you soon! :3

indifferent no more

It was a fateful night.
It proved me wrong.
I did miss you, and I still do.

I'm looking forward to seeing you guys again.