for you

Julie Tearjerky on the phone,
she says that I can't be alone.

toxicity

I’ve been gone for so long. I think it’s about time I go back to business.

Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for has finally come—the day I’d finally be able to revive my blog. Well…I’m not saying I’ll be blogging as often as I did before. While things seem to become more and more difficult each day in my life as a college student, I guess having two entries per month is already a blessing. (Yes, it’s THAT hard) Moving on, I really wanted to post things because I had a lot to blog about. I just didn’t have the time to turn on my trusty laptop and type away my thoughts and feelings. And now that I finally have the time to do it, I’ve completely forgotten about those things.

Well, one of the major reasons why I failed to post anything worth reading (not that my previous posts were actually worth reading) is that I’m too busy with schoolwork. Next is because after being so busy, each day leaves me exhausted.

Actually, a lot of factors contribute to my everyday state of exhaustion. Maybe it’s because of the nasty days that start out at 7:00 a.m. and end at 5:30 p.m. Or maybe it’s just because of some of our professors who give ‘past, present, and future’ exams that force us to stay up late at night reviewing and reading in advance. Or maybe it’s the 30 minute ‘walking’ lunch break. Why ‘walking’? Well, since it’s just 30 minutes short and we still have to go to Padre Faura all the way from Pedro Gil for our next class, we just eat lunch while walking. And yeah, I forgot to tell you that our ‘walk’ includes passing through the hospital. By now I’ve learned how to keep my appetite alive despite of all the disturbing sights and smells. Amazing, huh? But I think it’s also because of our tactless professor who sees the bad in everything we do. Actually, because of her, I had a traumatizing experience. Thank God I’ve found a way to move on and stop being so hateful of her. So now, during our classes with her, I just express my disapproval by rolling my eyes—and growling.

I’ve been really, really busy. And I guess this won’t stop until we graduate. Our first semester was so benign. It didn’t prepare me for this. Even my high school life didn’t prepare me for this. This is just so toxic—figuratively and literally. I experienced another drug overdose last week because of my daily vitamins. (Centrum, you failed me.)

To tell you the truth, I really didn’t want to blog about the things I mentioned about. I didn’t want to rant about my life as a nursing student. Wait, I got it wrong. I’m not a nursing student. I’m a student nurse—big difference. So what was it that actually made my day worth blogging about?

I was on my way home right after our Comm II class which ended at around 6:00 p.m. I was really excited to go home because I had a very tiring day—just like each day before this one. But when I got in the building and saw the elevators, I was shocked. The two shafts were out of order, and, in between them, a note was attached saying the elevators needed to be repaired. I was horrified. And then, a guy sitting on one of the couches in the lobby talked to me.

Guy: Mag-hagdan ka na lang. Sira yung elevator.

Me: *stares at the guy with disbelief* Di nga?

Guy: Kasi baka ma-stuck ka sa loob pag pinilit.

Me: JOKE BA YAN?!

I thought living in the 19^th floor was a good thing. But that was until today—the first time I used the stairs to reach that freaking floor. Hell, it drained all the life in me.

When I reached my unit, my fellow tenants were all very exhausted too. We then decided to order food from Pizza Hut. It took a while before we could finally decide whether we’d want to have food delivered. Like what Ate Lexi said, “Baka murahin tayo nung delivery guy!” We still ordered pizza anyway. AND Bless had the nerve to take a picture of the poor delivery guy when he arrived at our doorstep. Really, I pitied him. He looked so…tired.

In the end, I became really full after eating four slices. It’s really funny how it happened. When there was only one slice left out of 16 slices (we had two pizzas), they all looked at me. I had no choice but to eat it. I guess they knew how much of a glutton I really am.

one liner II

My online self is slowly dying.